An NYC Weekend
Posted on May 26, 2004 at 8:05 am | No Comments
Spent a swell (and sweltering) 24 hours in Manhattan, a quick trip down for some long-awaited celebratory family time and a little sidewalk wandering. A change in perspective, some new input, some cultural stimulation that Boston can’t quite deliver. Turn one corner and you run into a massive Israeli-day parade, turn another and there’s an army of screaming kids lined up for a Harry Potter premiere. Normally I’d be fighting an impending internal freak-out, surrounded by thousands of people in mid-80s sticky-city humidity… but for some reason I was all swami, taking it all in, almost reveling in the sights, smells, and sweat of NYC. I think I needed it.
Our hotel was The Benjamin, on 50th, the Saturday night stay a gift from our relatives. We somehow lucked out and got an upgrade to a 20th floor corner suite… with a terrace. Wow. I could have sat out there all day sipping on bottles of Brooklyn Lager, listening to the sounds of traffic far below.
The suite was beautiful, the service spot-on, the attention to detail impressive. Never got a single cheesy-fake vibe from anyone there, the staff seemed sincere and proud of the place. As they shoulda been. I usually don’t feel very relaxed in such posh places, relating more to the staff than the guests, but they made me feel totally comfortable, and even laughed when I tried to bring up my own bags. I explained that old bellman habits die hard (yeah, I did my time), so they indulged me. Can’t recommend the place highly enough.
And then there was Sunday brunch. The place was Norma’s, in the Parker Meridian Hotel on 56th between 6th and 7th. By far the best breakfast I’ve ever had in my life, hands down. Seriously, no hyperbole here. Yeah, it was pricey, but worth every cent and more. New Yorkers may have heard of it, since they’ve apparantly gotten a little media attention for their $1000 caviar omelette. Well, we skipped the omelette, but we did get a tastebud-blowing fruit-filled “ring”, a circle of watermelon filled with the freshest, juiciest fruit I’ve ever had. Then there was the pile of farm-fresh scrambled eggs, the apple-smoked bacon, the berry-stuffed stack of french toast. And the orange juice! Fresh squeezed, pulp free, ice cold. I’ve never tasted it’s equal. Next time you’re in Manhattan, treat yourself. This place cannot be topped.
Making the trip all the mo’ better, we brought our Nina with us. We hadn’t planned on it, but shockingly our hotel was pet-friendly, so she tagged along for her first taste of NYC action. I can’t even imagine what was going on in her dog-brain as she looked out over the East River as we cruised down the FDR. Or when the smells hit her nose as we got out of the air-conditioned car. Or when she was surrounded by more people than she ever knew existed.
An unanticipated dilemma: Doggie bathroom breaks. Y’see, Nina is conditioned to go on grass, and grass alone. As you can imagine, green patches are damn hard to come by in Manhattan (unless you’re near the, um, big one in the center). We asked passing NYC dog-walkers, but their dogs were used to doing the deed on the concrete, so no help there. We wandered blocks looking for anything resembling a park, but came up empty. We had to settle on a strip of mulch overseen by a grim doorman who looked ready to pounce. Fortunately, Amie could flash a smile (and Nina could give the old puppy-dog eyes), so he stayed back. Very lucky.
We figured it’d be easier for her the second day, during a long hot walk in Central Park, but of course Nina was uncooperative. “No poop for you.” She was too distracted by NYC squirrels and horse-drawn carriages, and probably sweating out all the liquid in her body. As were we all. The heat forced us back to the hotel to get our car and head over the Brooklyn Bridge for a quick stop at West Elm and a couple slices of NYC-style pizza. I didn’t think I’d need to eat again on Sunday after that heavenly breakfast, but the pizza hit the spot, and prepared us for the hell-to-come… our long drive home.
The only low-point of the visit, our trip back was a near-nightmare of traffic delays, sporadic sheets of rain, and whoa-inducing flashes of lightening. We were both tired from the day’s heat, each hoping the other would take the wheel, so we switched off as best we could. Good thing we found a Dunkin’ Donuts somewhere in CT. A four hour drive down became a five and a half hour trip back. Painful, but in the end, a small price to pay for the family and food-filled weekend we had.
Jesus Shaves!
Posted on May 21, 2004 at 11:39 am | No Comments
Well, I just spent 15 minutes of my lunch hour attending what was probably the most pointless public gathering since last summer’s flashmob fad. Yes, I watched Red Sox outfielder Johnny ‘Unfrozen Jesus’ Damon get shaved.
For those outside of New England, or those who ignore sports madness, a brief recap: Johnny showed up for spring training this year with a flowing mane of hair and a grizzly beast attached to his formerly smooth face. It got a lot of media attention, the nicknames started flying, fake-beard wearing disciples started showing up at games.
So he decided to put all the media attention to good use and raise some money for charity. But how to convert a clean shave into charitable cash? Enter Boston-based Gillette, who offered to donate a hefty sum to some learn-to-read programs if they could pimp their new razor in a ‘public shaving ceremony’ (which, it occurs to me, is just one letter away from the far more frightening ‘pubic shaving ceremony’).
Ends up this little production was today, a block from where I work, and during my lunch break. How could I not check it out, if just for the pure absurdity of it all? Granted… if it was more than a couple blocks away, I mighta skipped it. I mean, I love the Red Sox, but I don’t love the Red Sox, if you know what I’m sayin’.
As my co-worker Betsy and I neared the crowd, there he was… up on the big-screen. Damon’s lather-covered face for all to see. So funny. In the middle of the masses, under a logo-covered tarp, a Gillette girl was going to work on him, stroke after stroke, smooth skin appearing row by row. NESN’s Tom Carron was the MC, and his favorite phrase of the day was clearly “You just can’t make this stuff up!”. No, Tom, you just can’t. There were a dozen TV cameras, supposedly even a Japanese crew, and a radio guy doing “play by play”. Crazy. Listening to a beard-shaving on the radio could be even more ridiculous than actually attending one. Maybe.
Carron brought two high school-age beard-wearin’ Damon disciples up on stage to get a close look at the work. He asked if they were skipping school, and the girl replied “Yeah, I’m missing the MCAS exam.” Much of the crowd errupted, applauding her priorities. Some thinking “That’s awesome!”, others thinking “Hmmm… not so bright”, but all thinking “Now, that’s a Damon fan, right there”. When Carron asked her if there was a make-up exam, she could only reply “I hope so”. In the end, after removing her fake beard alongside Damon, she was awarded one of the new Gillette M3Power razors that touched Johnny’s face. She was literally glowing.
When Damon’s beard was off, the cream wiped away, Carron handed him a mirror. Obviously stunned, Johnny’s first words where “Where am I?!”. Carron asked “So whaddya think?”. To which Damon replied “I think I need to lose some weight!”. Keeping the product in mind, Carron followed with “So, do you think you’ll keep using the new Gillette M3Power razor?”. Johnny, who plans on growing back his beard as soon as possible, answered: “Yeah, definitely, but not to shave the beard… maybe to shave my chest?” The crowd, especially the female contingent, loved that one.
“So, Brad, what did you do for lunch today?” “Oh, nuthin’. Just watched a guy get shaved.”